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East Bay Steph Core!
Medium: Television
Fandom: Glee
Subject: Brittana
Title: Half of Something Else
Warnings: Nothing offensive...just lots and lots of angst. Also, all files are .mp3 EXCEPT "And So It Goes" which I could only in .m4a :/
Notes: Been working on this for the last week...well the cover art anyway xD Anyway, the mix is pretty self explanatory. Artists include: Billy Joel, Tegan and Sara, Lisa Loeb, The Cranberries.

Current Mood: artisticartistic
Current Music: The Airborne Toxic Event - Half of Something Else
East Bay Steph Core!
So, I know it's been a while.
I have actually spent the last week or so reading through this entire journal and everything that's happened in my life. It's funny because a lot of it I had forgotten about til I read about it...but reading all of it has also helped me come to a decision.

I haven't updated this thing since last December. For a lot of reasons. I can't write with the same honesty I used to...maybe because as we grow older, our need for privacy and personal thoughts becomes much more...necessary. I used to keep a written journal, but that's been updated even less than this thing, mostly because I don't have the stamina to write for long periods of time anymore...my hand just cramps up.

So that said, I've been in kind of a funk as to what to do with this journal. I don't want to get rid of it, because it's the one record of the past 7 or so years of my life...that chronicles everything at one point or another. And in addition to that it's the only thing I've ever stuck with for such a long period of time. That said, I don't have the heart to delete it. But I don't want to write in it anymore knowing that people can read what I'm saying.

Therefore, I've decided that everything that has been written in this journal thus far shall remain friends only. And that which was made public shall remain that way as well. BUT everything written from now on (besides this entry) will be made private and shall be for my viewing only. This is to make myself more comfortable but also to be able to write the way I used to and to get everything out of my crazy head.

So...to everyone that has read this and commented through out the years, to whoever is reading this right now...thank you. For listening to my stupid ramblings and rants and problems, and everything else I have written here in the past 7 years. You've all helped me through so much, even in the smallest ways, and for that I will always be grateful. I wish you all the best :) And those of you that still wish to keep in touch can always find me on facebook, or on my tumblr (http://gogostopnogo.tumblr.com/).

I can't say if things will stay like this forever, but this is what I need RIGHT NOW.
Goodbye, my friends. Keep on truckin' and never let the man bring you down<3

- Steph.
Current Mood: mellowmellow
Current Music: New Found Glory - Forget My Name
East Bay Steph Core!
Category: Character
Title: Daddy's Little Defect
Warnings: Little bit of angst and self loathing. And perhaps some female empowerment? Hrm.
Other Notes: So I've been working on this mix for a few days now. I wanted to make a mix for Quinn that embodied her self image/popularity issues during the pregnancy scandal, but also displayed her transition for HBIC to regular human being with feelings. I'm kind of confident that I captured that, but your opinions are always valued :) Also this was a bit difficult for me because I'm a hardcore Faberry shipper and I had to remember that it is totally non canon xD So there are a few Finn/Quinn and Puck/Quinn songs. Artists include: Garbage, Ani Difranco, and As Tall As Lions.


1. breaking up the girl - garbage

One mistake's all it takes
And your life has come undone
Walk away cause you're breaking up the girl
It's a drag
I know it's hard
But you're tearing her apart
Walk away cause you're breaking up the girl

I am afraid that there's much to be afraid of
Here today and gone tomorrow
Don't end up in the gutter
Just like the one before
You're just the same
Such a loser

2. anything I'm not - lenka

I will never be, I will never be tall, no
And I will never be, never ever be sure of it all
Oh, why's the world so cruel to me?
When all, all I ever wanna be is anything I'm not

Gimme a break, a little escape
I am so tired of being me
I wanna be free, I wanna be new and different
Anything I'm not, I'm not

3. daddy's little defect - sugarcult

So don't don't don't make a sound your father's around to play with your head
The gift-wrapped guilt-trip kisses left you naked in your bed
And all I see don't don't don't believe
And what you see is what you get with me
Wasting all your time
Wasting all your time

Going all the way, looking so helpless
Daddy's little defect
All the same
Keep your secrets away

4. little bombs - dashboard confessional

You out to know better,
Than to bait your jailor
You ought to know
You ought to know better
How do you deal with the consequence?
Now that we bear the weight of your arrogance
I know you and your cons
Your petty little bombs
But who will you blame your troubles on now?

5. breaking - anberlin

Do you memorize theatrical lines
That seem to lead them in
Play the role with a good girl heart
Hide the tangled webs within
Who was it that led you on,
and makes you want to hurt me so?
Who do you want to forget,
That forgot you long ago?

6. chin up - copeland

Back to where we started,
Losing who we were,
Maybe we should only
Tip a bottle back to keep us filled up.

Back to where we started,
Losing who we were,
Everybody knows that,
You’d break your neck to keep your chin up.

7. I'm kicking myself - as tall as lions

and hey babe, I feel as though I've lost you
and I feel as though, you dont want me
and I keep kickin' myself
and lately, when i sleep alone
i feel that, i oughta learn
you dont need me
just stop kidding myself

8. save me - aimee mann

C'mon and save me
Why don't you save me
If you could save me
From the ranks of the freaks
Who suspect they could never love anyone

Except the freaks
Who suspect they could never love anyone
Except the freaks who could never love anyone

9. losing sleep - charlotte sometimes

Be the winner you always were,
Don’t you, don’t you dare lose.
Be the humble girl you are
Don’t cry in strangers cars.
La La Goodnight.

I’m awake and I’ve been losing sleep.
I’ve been fighting all my demons,
I’ve been getting weak cause I’ve been
Trying, trying, trying to be
Anything other than me.

10. not a pretty girl - ani difranco

I am not an angry girl
but it seems like I've got everyone fooled
every time I say something they find hard to hear
they chalk it up to my anger
and never to their own fear
and imagine you're a girl
just trying to finally come clean
knowing full well they'd prefer you
were dirty and smiling

and I am sorry
I am not a maiden fair
and I am not a kitten stuck up a tree somewhere

11. when the curious girl realizes she is under glass - bright eyes

Saying, ...time take us forward. Relief from this longing,
they can land that plane on my heart I don't care
just give me November, the warmth of a whisper
in the freezing darkness of my room.
But no matter what I would do in attempt to replace.
All these pills that I take trying to balance my brain.
I've seen the curious girl with that look on her face.
So surprised she stares out from her display case.

[Download Here]
Current Mood: calmcalm
Current Music: Sugarcult - Daddy's Little Defect
East Bay Steph Core!
Fandom: Glee
Pairing: Rachel/Quinn
Title: The Things We Did Last Summer
Notes: Hokay, so Maria and I were talking about Glee Season 2 and if they would show you what happened over the Summer. Well, what if Rach and Q hooked up over the Summer? This is the soundtrack to said Summer and I'll go into further detail about what each song means in my head but it's also 2:30 in the morning and I am sleepy :( So please don't expect anything more than mildly coherent ramblings at best xD ...like what I just did. *ahem*


more fanmix and good music under the cut :)Collapse )

And now that it's 3:10 in the morning. I am going to bed.

P.S. Due to my extremely sleepy state, I accidently included All the Kings Men by Wild Beasts in the .zip file. It has nothing to do with Faberry, but it's still a good song, so enjoy it nonetheless :)
Current Mood: bouncybouncy
Current Music: The Almost - Amazing Because It Is
East Bay Steph Core!
PhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketFollow the yellow brick road...Collapse )

Comment&Credit would be nice :)
Current Mood: creativecreative
Current Music: Plushgun - A Crush To Pass the Time
East Bay Steph Core!
New mood theme by kohler :)

*sigh* Isn't Dianna beautiful?
Current Mood: dorkydorky
Current Music: Broken Social Scene - Swimmer
East Bay Steph Core!
Current Mood: accomplishedaccomplished
Current Music: Copeland - Brightest
East Bay Steph Core!
fanmix behind the cut!Collapse )
fanmix behind the cutCollapse )
Current Mood: accomplishedaccomplished
Current Music: Mae - The Sun and the Moon
East Bay Steph Core!
03 June 2010 @ 01:17 am
P.S. I'll have you know I'm far from stupid.
Ever heard of...oh, I don't know--tracing an IP address? Rather, do you even know what an IP address is? Here's a crash course: Every computer has an IP. It is basically logged into every website you visit and let's the administrators, or the computer, know your location. For instance, your IP address is
Google a tracer, stick in there and BOOM. Exact location.

I'm not sure what insults me more; the fact that you blatantly tried to breach my personal thoughts or the fact that you thought so little of me that I wouldn't find out it was you.

If you want a peek into my personal thoughts that badly, go ahead. I leave everything unedited for your viewing pleasure.

I hope you find what you're looking for. Whatever that may be.

But I hope you know--I know it's you.
And on another note: Why the fuck can't you just leave me alone?
Current Mood: angryangry
Current Music: Barenaked Ladies - One Week
East Bay Steph Core!
Current Mood: aggravatedaggravated
Current Music: Amy Studt - Testify